Story of one distant night in the past…

…
A brightened living room, with a loftier ceiling; roseate curtains hung on the wall like they just committed suicide and are now still like a ‘dead’. The room was full of mixed sounds, the chitter-chatter, the fun, the excitement, the thrill, the mystery, the questions, the answers, of the smallest and the little creatures in the house.
I was one of them.

“Is he going to come out alive?”

“There is a ghost inside for sure, how can he?”

“Wait, wait, what is this?”

“Oh!”

The kids moved closer to each other.

“He survived the whole time, now hardly much time left before he finishes his challenge. I think he will survive.”

“No way, he is surely going to be killed now.”

All the little creatures were wondering “What will the ghost look like? What will he do? Will he kill him?”

And the moment comes, the moment of the reveal, the moment of the mystery to end, and the moment of encounter with the ghost.

There she comes! Yes, it was ‘She’!

“Wow, she is a woman!”“She doesn’t have a head! God, she is coming with a knife in her hand!”

“Where is he running? He is going to die for sure.”

…fearing and hoping with half-eyes opened that he gets saved!

And suddenly, the darkness started looming around. Pitch-black darkness and dead silence, in the room not on TV.

“What happened?”

“Power cut.”

“Kids, the power will be back in the morning now, so you all go to sleep.” One of the elders sleeping in the room said.

Where was I?

In the hell!

It was a couch but felt like hell!

I felt like the hand of that woman would appear from anywhere and strangle me to death.

No one will be able to save me now, it is too dark.

All I could see was ‘her’ without her head and a knife in her right hand.

Who will protect me now? They can’t even see me! I can’t see anyone I call my own.

I’m dead now!

And suddenly, a hand appeared.

But, only to hold my hand. I held it back.

It was the hand of the other fearful one from the lot.

And together, we all rushed out of that cruel and torturous room and went straight to the terrace.

The terrace, with the gleaming moon and the shining stars, revived us back. The terrace gave us our souls back. We felt alive again, we felt the hope of living again. We were rescued from death. It was our second birth.

We were truly thankful to God for our lives.

…

But later, the same feeling snapped back,

• When I was being interviewed for the job.
• When I was standing in the crowd.
• When I was supposed to speak in front of a group of people.
• When I was supposed to treat the guests.

And many other times, countless, numerous, endless times, when I realized how anxiety attack feels like. This is called, ‘Agoraphobia’.

When one fears and avoids places or situations that might cause anxiety and feelings of being helpless or trapped.

Hence, my mind and my body cannot distinguish between when I’m watching something real and when I’m watching something unreal.

It will give me the same signal of warning when I’m around a lion, or when I’m around a murderer, when I’m around the guests, interviewer, crowd of people, etc.

It doesn’t understand the level and intensity of fear, it only understands fear.

And hence, it functions accordingly and ends up giving you anxiety attacks in your crucial times. Then you experience Agoraphobia all the time.

Now imagine, when you’re about to make your life’s most important decisions, when one side is a life full of pain and misery, and the other side, you have to come face to face with your fear.

What will you do?

My brain is shouting- “Agoraphobia!”.

You’ll run away from it and go to the terrace. You’ll choose pain and misery.

Unfortunately, this time, you wouldn’t be saved. You’d rather be thrown into hell.

Isn’t leaving the life you’re supposed to live hell?

Isn’t leaving your purpose behind because of that fear, is hell?

How can you find happiness when you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do? You were sent here for a purpose and you’re inactive about it because you’re busy splishing-splashing into your fear?

Who asked you to watch Horror films?

You were a kid; you didn’t know what was good for you and what was not! You trusted the society you were brought up in.

Fine, then why do you still watch a horror film?

It’s fun!

Right! You made your whole existence useless and it feels fun!

• It is fun to live and survive using alcohol and cigarettes and call it “cool”.
• It is fun to end all the relationships in your life and call it “my respect”.
• It is fun to bully and make fun of others around you who are fighting with the fear they developed inside themselves when they were innocent and didn’t know what was right for them.
• It is fun not to live and do what you always desire.

“But watching horror films feels amazing, we feel the excitement and the thrill.”

True, but at the cost of your mental health!

If you’re strong enough to live without any substances, without breaking your relationships, without hurting anyone, with understanding, with compassion, with love, with passion, for your life and work, and you’re still watching horror films and series, then I will call you strong.

Or, if you go through experiences that give you anxiety attacks without hurting a soul, I’ll call you strong.

If you know how anxiety attack feels like, how you feel the pain in your heart and your stomach, sometimes it gets worse and you literally rush to the washroom, and after going through these experiences, you still stay happy from inside, and grow, then I’ll call you strong.

But, if you aren’t able to stay strong during these anxiety attacks, stop watching horror films now, and start to heal your inner child, who knows no difference in the “type” of fear you have to face. That child, this body, this mind, they all know only one term, and that is,
“FEAR”.

You must watch this video which will shed more light on how anxiety attacks feel like and how to get rid of it.

“Help yourself, build your life, and work on your mental health, because 99% of your current situation in life is due to your mental and emotional abilities.”

***

Thanks for reading! Do leave comments.

Read my other short story, a creative non-fiction “Who is God? Is He Even Real?“

To buy my art, check out my portfolio at saritanakradesigns.com/portfolio.

Have a great day! 🙂